Monday, October 27, 2014

Today... One Year Ago

Today is a hard day for me. 

Today, two years ago, I lost my 39 week baby girl two days before her due date. 
Today, two years ago, I had to call my parents to tell them what happened. 
Today, two years ago, I had to check into the hospital to give birth to a stillborn. 
Today, two years ago, I had to hear that there was no reason as to why.
Today, two years ago, I had to hear I was going to have a baby but not bring her home. 
Today, two years ago, I birthed an 8 pound beautiful baby girl. 
Today, two years ago, I held her, kissed her and told her that she's beautiful. 
Today, two years ago, I gave her to the nurse to never see her again. 
Today, two years ago, I cried more tears than I ever thought were possible. 
Today, two years ago, I never thought I'd be OK again. 

Today, one year ago, I found out I was pregnant. 
Today, one year ago, my husband and I cried tears of sadness for our 1st daughter and tears of joy for our 2nd chance. 
Today, one year ago, I convinced myself to NOT be scared. 
Today, one year ago, I told myself that I was going to do my best to be positive. 

Today, I have a beautiful baby girl named Madeleine Love 
Today, I hold her and never want to put her down. 
Today, I look at her and see her sister's face. 
Today, I smile, I laugh, and love waking up in the morning. 
Today, I'm thankful my husband and I stuck together through the hardest times in our lives. 

TODAY, I never thought I could be happier. 

While my wounds will never heal, It's so wonderful to love my life again. 

-Carrie 

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